Certainly my views on issues are not in blinkers....... there is a few subjects I'm unflinchingly unmoving on, the rest I take a very realistic approach and live as I should... It is not uncommon to find ones self on the opposite side of their argument especially with matters of the heart....... I shall share strong opinions and feelings ....but isn't what observation and experience  are......the source of our opinions and stand point......... as I live it and have lived it I shall then share.

Flip Side

I see the side-chicks get all excited about my previous posts ... the aim is not to condone behaviour or existence but merely to state facts of the Game as played by men and their counterparts..most of all the folly of being unrealistic when confronted with the presence of a third party in a relationship. The aim is to have sisters be very pragmatic about this other women issue and not get all up on overdosing .. point in case 'Mshoza and Demi'. Now there is nothing as painful as a sister losing it because of a man and another woman... Surely no woman wants to have another woman's passing on her conscious. One would argue that the one who takes their own life is selfish, but isn't the man in question and his mistress(s) also selfish?, let's be serious some women mean it when they say till death do us apart.

My point is one shouldnt be too proud of corveting another's partner despite the fact that she was approached and all. I guess the question lies in what story they were told when approached, that I can buy!!! but with time one finds out that the man in question is attached then the moral fiber starts sparking current,....... if that doesnt happen to you Delilah and Jezebel have nothing on you. Having said that some brothers lay it out on the table and you make your choice, granted who wants to let a good man go we lament but by the sheer act of him cheating on his partner he made a commitment to.....eeeerrrrrrhhhhhh. Show me the good man in that skin!!!!!!!!
We all know the circumstances surrounding the infidelity of married women and men is complex according to their state of being in their relationships although it would be fair to say some are just certified Jezebels and all...... they wouldnt be faithful to their own selves even if their last breathe depended  on it. There is also women who think relationships are a game and will go for anything and everything that belongs to everyone but themselves, the hunters of the prey called married or commited man..... we all know the perception that men want anything in a skirt (not entirely true) with the rise of the Koyo's Gabbana's and Somizi's you can't tap anything in a skirt by merit of a skirt..........Note I don't discriminate I aim only to be witty..........

Now I have no tolerance for itchy fanny women who can't seem to keep their panties knotted....... they have no apologies for their conduct of breaking homes and breaking hearts..... it is incorrect to refer to this guild of women as side-chicks, there should be a name from the hussy hell that befits their status and conduct. When we learn to separate this breed of women from the normal woman seeking love maybe then..........

In the meantime............................
The one big thing is men get bored (especially sexually) they don't stop loving their partners they get BORED........ Now these hyenas know and and capitilise of the seduction element and sexual excitement. Now sisters the ring did not come with a clause insisting you should act like a prude in the privacy of your sleeping quarters .. do that you'll be left holding feathers ...... Yes the preassure of work, kids and being a wife is taxing, but gawd darnit sex is also a stress reliever according to the learned researchers..... What I'm saying is get your Groove on.... be the girl he met and the wife / wives he loves most of all be the package you were unless of course you came as a pregnant package.... then I have no words.
I rant and rave on all sides of the fence so bear with me .............

We shall seek and most of all Share!!!!

So the people shall share should apply to people in relationships at least those with the roving mic partners..... One knows the Dog they breed, you can't tell me you did not see it coming...... There is signs..... There always is signs...... There is that nagging feeling that gnaws at you, where you know without a shadow of a doubt that something is happening, Now this is where you get alert and open your lovestruck eyes, you should be a police dog on a drug hunt in a Mexican Hangout.
You have a right to find out what is going on... you absolutely have no right to blame the wayward phallus on the other woman, take that up with your Stallion unless the other woman is your Sister, Cousin, Best friend or Neighbour..be mindful of Colleagues also they make for great "Manyonyoba's".
Now what was I saying again, oh yes the people shall share as Nyakallo Lephoto said, " Every woman needs a companion to love her, but the truth is there are more women than men". So maybe this is where we revisit the Polygamy corner, indeed the people shall share. I'm sure knowing where your man is and the fact that the other person has a vested interest far outweighs tracking him with your Online Tracker Account in an attempt to glean where he could be, mostly gnawed at by the fact he is with some dolled up, Nine West heeled Chicklet.

Now to the steady partners and wives, I would like you to read the below carefully and maybe then ....... before you met the one you with, presented with the below outlook on life.....maybe just maybe you wouldn't also have gone for your hearts desires and for some their purse desires. I must say by virtue of you being with that person you doing exactly that.

I was with someone special to me and they looked at me dead in the eye and asked if they could ask me a question, I felt myself twitching ....LOL... Yes I did. I nodded in affirmation that he could go ahead and ask, He says " Would you ever ask a man out", I screwed my eyes and blinked a million times a minute. Kwaito Artists in that moment would have turned to me and gone " Ja Clever". I was floored.... I spluttered and stuttered... needless to say he proceeded to tell me how women sit there waiting for something good to find them instead of going out to get it for themselves. I was dumbfounded, I looked at me and found myself guilty of that...... in that instant a man had never been so attractive to me.

Well having experienced the above, one cannot help but think that some women are indeed going for what they want and the rest of us are sitting there on a stale and dry moral high ground, empty handed and clearly not in anyones arms. So I'm indeed falling in love with the idea of
"the people shall share", maybe because a gorgeous lovable soul broke it down to me. Make no mistake about it , these guys love their number ones "hehehehe" stop looking at me funny , one has nothing to do with the other. It is just the way it for some of them.

I will not get into the subject of the wayward no boundaries phallus brandishing men..... Maybe tomorrow or the day after. Today I plead for you to look at the consciously sharing and the going for what you seek and need path. I know I'm going to be consciously questioning my self sacrificial decisions. Maybe Never again.......will I sacrifice myself for the needs of another.

Side-Chick Debacle

Ha! an old age question or should I say practise......maybe one should safely say it's as old as the discovery of the female species, that sounds about right. Monogamy is a nearly extinct Dinasour and fervently poached by those desperate for the happy ending and picket fences......well *Guffaws* the picket fence Sorority might as well down their tools..... Crime makes it impossibble for such in South Africa and the rest of the Sub-Sahara..... Moving On.

I would argue that fidelity is as endangered as the Rhino.... Tell me I lie, I'll get you a double tot of Milk. I think for Christians hell bent on the practise of FAITH... I can safely say every relationship needs a double dose of Faith than Love...yeah I said it, for us to be able to blindly get on with our relationships it is imperative that one conjures a certain kind of blindfaith, especially the unrealistic folk..... Yeah it is said that pray about your problems, Now one does not ridicule those who do and the confessed power of prayer from them.... but please show me a repentant cheat!

I marvel at the robust way so called stable partners and wives judge the other woman in the triangle, square and lately guys have been known to have hexagons,YEP!!!!! that is the extent of their cheating ways. It is a laughable Moral Highground Martyr manner........ Well as I have already mentioned , the zeal in which the other woman is persecuted sends me into laughter inspired jerkings of orgasm..... Yes orgasmic pleasure is what I get. How could one be so blind and self betraying?, or is it faith in the philandering fool... my guess is that someone is being an Ostrich.

Now Ladies I see the pedestal you all standing on when you speak about the so called Side-Chick.. I can safely say there is a Trillion and one of you who stood in the shadows and waited for a man who was with someone.... This is where the #Side-Chick Support Group does a Tidal Wave!!!!!!!!! say POW!!!!!!. Well I'm not anyone's favorite in this moment to the extent I lost 15+ followers on Twitter based on my ramblings... hahahahaha as Themba Radebe would laugh  Hajajajajaja!!!!!!! See the worry in my eyes, truth or should I say reality has a way of feeling like a constipated system, in this case unless we take a dose of reality the reality of side-chicks will remain a constipation inducing subject for most women.

I can ramble as far out as I can, Baby Diablosi one knows there is a lot that can be said on the subject, for it is a subject. Men shall continue to seek the pleasures of the outside...Physically or emotionally. The sooner we pursue relationships that are true to us and our partners the better. Remember when you in it for convenience you will be an inconvenience one day , for surely one will fall in love without the burden of being convenient.

Women don't sit there twiddling your nails and preaching the gospel of chastity, I see you .. We see you and see ourselves in the mirror also.... you are infidels of the worst kind for you seldom get caught. Sad especially in the black culture where the inheritance of "Umkhonto" is big, revered and sacred......How many non-sons preside over other people's kraals.... Ha!!!!  I dare you say otherwise.....Exactly "SIT DOWN"

Is that water guns coming after me, well my point is we all in paper houses stop water gun shooting other kids........ There is no bonus for living the lie!!!!!!!

I shall visit this Topic once again............. for I say a lot and nothing at all . Only the realists shall hasten and hear me.

By the way I'm an aspiring Side-Chick or Stable whichever comes first.............* Walks away ebetha umlozi *

When I loved

I hail you son of the soil

I hail you warrior of the ravines

You roamed the lands of our forefathers

Godide child of Sompisi

You who hunted and gathered

Warrior of my heart

You ran and thundered the plains of Zululand

Alongside the Great UShaka your paramount ancestry fought,

The pale skinned one ambushed you in the battle of the blood river

He with the mind of Impisi,

Just when they thought they had conquered us.

From the ruins we rose from the ashes we blossomed

We imprison their offspring with our freedom

I hail you son of Zulu I hail you son of the Soil

Just as the spear pierced the cursed hearts of the English and the Boer

We pierce their offspring with our freedom

I hail you wena Mbhele, kaKhuboni, Godide,Ndlela, Sompisi,

Wena Maphekwa nelitye,

kuvuthwe lona kushiyeke iBhele

My ancestry ululates as I walk into your embrace

Those who ululated your safe return from the battle of Isandlwana

Ululate our union

To say we are blessed is the least we have been anointed

I look into your eyes and I see heaven

I look into your eyes I see myself

I look into your eyes and I am safe

I look into your eyes and your soul calls out to me

I look into your eyes and I see the divinity that binds us

I child of Phakathwayo from the great house of Qwabe

Izala nkosi

I have been crafted just for you wena Ndlela ka Sompisi ,

I honor you “Ndoda emadodeni”

I hail you Godide ka Sompisi ka Ntuli

January 2010

Our lives are determined at times by the answers we have to our own questions.

Answers translated into action by implementation.

Every question asked a mere reflection of what we desire.

Maybe by presenting the question to someone else it will cease to be my burden, we think

Some questions demand a lot from us, my enlightened colleagues’ came up with a tag line that say’s “Think about it” a challenging statement indeed, one that inspires one to be beyond the realm of comfort, and one that confronts our norm and propels us to be more than what we are.

My colleagues in this case are very young professionals trying to pave their way in the maze we call life, no different from myself and you the esteemed reader of this article. Something happened to them to inspire such profound words. I would safely say the need for change happened, they envisioned the change they desired and implemented it. They stopped and heard the music. From thought Intellect was born.

When we think and come across challenging questions we ponder on them, we still ourselves in the moment and give it more time than other presenting questions.

Amazingly as much as we are different we have similarities, our lives entwined in the tapestry of the fears and challenges we face, the questions that confront us and demand our commitment to the answers.

When we get the answers we have no choice but to act, it is the need to get answers that drives us to implement the change, it is through that need that we seek relentlessly to get those answers that enable us to bear the much sought after fruits of change.

No question is stupid and there are no right or wrong answers hence it is good to have as many questions as one can possible entertain, if we stopped questioning we would cease to exist. Change comes through scrutiny of the present.

Think about questions that inspire a contribution towards change, those lead that us to making an effort to understanding our environment and our leaders, questions that inspire patriotism especially in this day. questions that challenge us to do more than sit on the sidelines and judge.

One has to think about it, really questioning beyond the obvious. I would apply it to the current state of our politics there is a lot underlying and until we stop seeing the obvious and formulating questions that bear no substance to the matters at hand, then we will forever be caught in the abyss of stagnancy and non-progression, A scenario of crabs trying to get out a bucket.

One imagines a nation that is open to change, that contributes through its inhabitant’s positive change rather than its own demise.

It has been overdone, people misquote it and correctly quote it, but if you want change you have to be the change you want to see (Mahatma Gandhi). It is no use complaining and not taking responsibility for your part in changing what makes you uncomfortable.

As we ponder on the questions may it be so that we begin to be a nation of change agents’ people ready to change what does not work for what does, our answers may truly determine our lives as we translate them to action.

April 2010

Once again the challenge to think and cease to lament confronts me, I can no longer ignore the burning desire to have mental engagements with myself, to allow my thought to roam and have scenarios and questions that challenge to see tomorrow. There should not be much to dwell on when you talk about that, thought should be welcome, it is either you are thinking or not, We have taken on a notion that seeks for thought to be explained and defended, and Society has deemed thinking to be an unwelcome thing, something bad and unwelcome, if you have a sober face one would ask you what your thoughts are  as if were the cause, Granted some thoughts are indeed sobering, but then what would we be without it ,we all need an invasion on a somewhat passive and monotonous existence.

Of course thinking should sober you up it is not meant to bring frills to your life rather challenge you to stop existing and start living, Thought is a catalyst for action, and when you make a decision to live a life of thought and action you cease to exist but live. Since I started sharing with you on the Think about it column I have harbored this fear that I would exhaust everything there was to say about thinking, boy was I wrong at least for now What is there not to think about, take a pick.

We are currently surrounded by a lot that at some point it seems too much to soak in and really unpack with thought. A  50 million rand wedding and a cancelled tender, A daughter of a late minister and a questionable tender once again it becomes a maze for our humble minds we seem to think ,but is it really or we are weary to think lest we be challenged to do something about it .

But my roaming mind keeps coming back to a rowdy youth leader and there I question who he represents are we a rowdy youth of the Republic, I beg to differ, and hopefully I have your support dear reader. In my humble knowledge of what the African is and should be regardless of color and creed at minimum we are schooled in the the most basic and fundamental way of respect. And we call all agree that in recent times we have engaged on a public platform in the most tactless and disrespectful manner.

In the midst of all the madness you are then confronted by the glaring unfixed and crumbing infrastructure and right now we give all praise to the sinkholes that represent potholes on our roads. You imagine the World Cup scenario of our visitors getting stuck on their way to a stadium hilarious but suicide for the Country’s PR and then you are blinking at the word READY. Are we? One cannot help but shudder at the thought of June 12 2010, where we will make history as the dumb and dumber South Africa or as having hosted a brilliant World Cup tournament.

Barely 30 days and we will be there ,what does it mean for us, and by us I do not mean the Danny Jordan and Irvin Khoza’s who got bonuses I mean the ordinary street corner citizen making ends meet ,the man expected to buy a 1050 ticket to watch his country play. How do we always manage to lose the plot, we host the world cup and fail to make provision for our citizens who eat and breathe soccer.

Whose heads did the money go to that they failed to think beyond themselves to the point where this tournament was for every South African and the bonus that came with it was just for their so called hard work. Yes today we thinking the World Cup and our world cup qualifying potholes ,the un roadworthy public transport that kills people every given week if not day, the death of sportsmanship for the love of money and the total disregard of the the South African citizen by its ,leaders.

Today I’m thinking closed off free ways with uneven roads and lanes cut in the middle and riddled with sinkholes of cars flying off the roads. Today I think the term biting more than one can chew and choking on it and my parting question is “Are we choking or chewing “I leave you with the responsibility to think about it and hopefully engage on it. Unlike our elders we do not sweep matters under the mat lest we trip on them.

My head is busting at the seams.

Think about it and engage.

Never Alone

I’m here so you can never cry alone

I’m here to dry your tears

I’m here so you can lean on me

I’m here so you will never be alone

I’m here so you will never be afraid

Nothing should ever taint you

Not anger or fear

Be in the knowledge all come to pass

That the only thing that the universe offers you is love

Live in the love I so humbly offer you

Live in the moment

On a dark balmy night you saw me

And willed me to be yours

That your soul be entwined with mine

That the universe opened my eyes you

That the warmth of your gaze would penetrate my heart

And suddenly I knew I would be yours and you would be mine

If not forever then for that brief blessed moment

thankful

I’m thankful for yesterday the day I met you

I’m thankful for today because you continue to be the vessel of his blessings and anointing

I’m thankful for the word that defines my path

I’m thankful for tomorrow for you will continue to be a blessing in my life and through your presence I am reawakened to abundance and his will

I’m thankful for your fragile heart because through my anointing you will heal

As he created her from his rib to be his companion he created me to be your balm

I am grateful for his grace and love

Have a great day

Father

I loved him but I blamed him for my demise.

My father I hated him but I loved him

He the man from whose loins came from

He of whom I am proud of

I am disappointed

Robbed of the future

By my father

Robbed of my future by his immorality

Robbed of my bread by his arrogance

Who is he to stand in the path of my greatness I love him and I hate him still

All the sins unforgiving

As I am reminded everyday of where he failed me

The Path he was supposed to pave he left for me to go through the maze

14 offspring one wonders why me

I love him and yet I loathe him still

The spirits of my fore fathers have visited me

Who is he to stand against them?

For once a decision not his happens in my life

He made a decision to torment

Fickle Men

It is sad the fickleness of men

It is sad the folly of their ego

It is sad the blindness

My suppleness was seen as a weakness

When I honoured him he raised me with his foot

When I loved him he pushed it back at me

It is sad the folly of men

When I sought him

Today my back toward him

Then does he realize the folly of his action

It is sad the fickleness of men

Today my ears closed to his lamentations

My heart turned to stone

It is sad the fickleness of men

My warmth was never enough for his pompous self

Today my leaving a crescendo of his regrets

Today I mourn the folly of his actions on his behalf

His heartlessness

I mourn the strewn broken backs of my sisters

I mourn the cruelty of his soul ‘

I mourn the broken pieces that represent our hearts

Today I proclaim and prophesy days to come

When their hearts will yield to our warmth

When they will reach out and call us by our given names

And our ears will be closed to such

Our hearts full of wrath

May the day dawn that it shall be so

Today as I walk picking up smithereens of our broken back and hearts

I pray they will too in the future

x