Grief

My heart bleeds my heart cries out to you lord

As I see her torn and dismembered body and remember the day you brought her into my life all perfect and promising, promises of future, grandchildren,

I remember the perfection only you can bestow,

The warmth only a father can experience because of your loving grace

The first steps I might not have been there

The first words I might not have been here

But I was always thankful of the gift you gave me

And now my heart bleeds as I look at the dismembered body

The once perfect gift from you

Reduced to remains, the one perfect promise lord reduced to a number

And I lament the cruelty of her passing

I have questions father

Could you answer me?

Did you comfort her?

Did you touch her spirit?

Did you warm her?

In her last moments did you tell her I loved her and will always do?

And now my heart bleeds

My own flesh gutted father, that I had to live to see that,

That my last loving moments were in sorrow

For as I held the pieces of what she once was it was with the everlasting love I have for her for she was my own

My perfect gift from you father

For as everyone shuddered in dread I had to love her till her resting moment

I have questions Lord

Was it her destiny?

Was it fate?

Was it my destiny?

My own flesh and blood that I had to live to see that

And now as I remember the walk to her resting place

All hazy

I have no recollection

But she is gone, violently, as if she committed what we will never know.

What iniquities have visited her?

Today it dawns she is gone

And the only images I have

Is the gruesome reminder of her violent passing?

I have a request Lord

Heal me and my family

Recreate in me new memories of my daughter

So that I can be the man I was before

Lord knows my wife and son need me

Let me be there for them

I cry out to you lord

Save me and make me the man I was before

My heart bleeds and I lament but only you can heal me lord only you can h